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Love Lessons from the King, Week 1 - Let’s Talk

What makes a good marriage?
Can you tell when you look at a couple if they have a good marriage?
What God is telling us is that life is all about relationships!!!!!!
And the key to relationships is communication!
In fact, communication is what makes a relationship!!

Communication is more than just talking
Communication is what enables relationships to take place, whether with God, with our co-workers or with our spouse.
Our perception, standard or expectations for the way a marriage should work usually comes from:
-Our parents
-TV
-Past relationships (usually the failed ones)
-Not church!

What is needed/required in marriage is real communication!
Some people pride themselves on hiding their true feelings… Big problem, this is not macho!!! I believe this is of the devil!!
We were created to communicate our feelings, emotions, thoughts, etc.

James 1:19-20
“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this:

Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.”

3 simple ways to communicate better:
-Speak softly
-Speak slowly and gently

-Just do it!

1. Speak softly

Same way God spoke to Elijah
Never the “Wizard of Oz” approach
Take the intimidation out
Watch for reactions
Share your feelings
Don’t insult your spouse
Speak the truth; be honest, always in love!!

Ephesians 4:15

2. Speak slowly & gently

Chance for both to speak
Chance to think
It can take the intimidation out –
Ask questions – give plenty of time
Really listen
Reset expectations

Eph. 4:29

3. Just do it!

Must talk through issues
Go a little deeper!!  Until you hit emotions!!
If the tension does not going away –there will be an explosion
Reality is that every couple comes with baggage
You cannot fix the other person!!! Only God can!!!
Avoid sarcasm!
Will not always agree – that’s ok
“Can we talk”? The answer is never no!!!

How to start

3 sample questions
What is your favorite food that we eat at home? Least favorite?
What do you think about Donald Trump?
Do I give you enough of an opportunity to talk to me about things?

1 Peter 3:8-15
“Summing up: Be agreeable, be sympathetic, be loving, be compassionate, be humble. That goes for all of you, no exceptions.

No retaliation. No sharp-tongued sarcasm.
Instead, bless—that's your job, to bless. You'll be a blessing and also get a blessing. Whoever wants to embrace life and see the day fill up with good, Here's what you do: Say nothing evil or hurtful; Snub evil and cultivate good; run after peace for all you're worth.

1 Peter 3:8-15
God looks on all this with approval, listening and responding well to what he's asked; But he turns his back on those who do evil things.

If with heart and soul you're doing good, do you think you can be stopped? Even if you suffer for it, you're still better off. Don't give the opposition a second thought. Through thick and thin, keep your hearts at attention, in adoration before Christ, your Master. Be ready to speak up and tell anyone who asks why you're living the way you are, and always with the utmost courtesy.”

3 Simple Ways to Communicate Better:

Speak softly

Speak slowly & gently

Just do it!

 

Love Lessons from the King (2015)

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